


Keelah Se'lai

by FullParagon



Series: Keelah Se'lai [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Action, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Sweetheart Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-26
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-26 22:42:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/655178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FullParagon/pseuds/FullParagon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fifty one years after the Battle of Earth, Tali'Zorah tells her life's story to the daughter of Admiral Koris. Written as memoir, from Tali's perspective. Will cover the events of all three games, with an eventual focus on Tali's life after the Reapers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Keelah se'lai

Prologue

The sun on Rannoch rose early in the summer seasons, but Tali'Zorah was up early to watch it, as she was every morning. Her bones ached now, and she had various auto-immune disorders that were eating away at her joints that made waking and moving painful these days. But it was worth it to see the sunrise. Even after all these years, Tali still felt joy watching her own sun come over the horizon, the red rays spilling over the rocks and canyons to paint the desert red. This morning she was without her suit, and as such was watching the sunrise from indoors. She could go outside without her suit after years on Rannoch, but at her advanced age infections and allergic reactions were always a risk, so the cleaned air of her house was the only place she went suit-less regularly.

The intercom buzzed, and Tali pushed a button on her Omni-Tool. "Yes?"

An unsuited, young female quarian appeared on Tali's omnitool. "Lady Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, it is Unna'Koris nar Zaal, from the University. I am not early am I?"

"No Unna'Elah, you are not. I was just watching the sunrise. I'll open the door for you."

After a moment Unna'Koris came into the living room, smelling slightly of the disinfectant spray most quarian's used so that face to face contact was not as risky.

Tali gestured to an open seat next to her, and Unna'Koris sat down.

"Thank you so much Lady Tali'Zorah, for giving me the opportunity to interview you like this. This will surely count as my pilgrimage service, I hope to earn the right to the name vas Qwib Qwib."

Tali smilled. Pilgrimage, and the name "vas Qwib Qwib" were conventions from back in the days of the migrant fleet. While every quarian now had the right to use the name "vas Rannoch" it had become something of a tradition to use the name of the last ship you had been posted on in the migrant fleet as your name. Though in Unna's case, it was the name of the ship her father, Admiral Zaal'Koris (ret.) had been posted on; Unna had been born on Rannoch.

"You are very welcome, Unna. But I must warn you as I did at your father's wake, this will not be a story of destroying geth or blowing up reapers, though a few explosions may occur."

"Of course Lady Tali'Zorah. May I start the recording with that? Please, tell me what you did at the wake."

Tali smiled, and looked at the picture of the handsome human on the table beside her.

"For me, my story was never as our people saw it, the story of saving the galaxy, or even the story of reclaiming our homeworld. It was a love story."


	2. Chapter 1: Pilgrim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lone pilgrim finally finds someone to listen to her, and is infatuated with the dashing human commander that rescues her.

Unna'Karis: Where do you want to begin, Lady Tali'Zorah?

Tali'Zorah: Please, Unna. Here in my home, it's just Tali.

UK: Yes, Lady Tali.

TZ: (Laughs) Close enough, I suppose the best place to start is when I met the Commander.

UK: On the old Citadel, on your pilgrimage correct?

TZ: Yes, I was about your age, and I had uncovered information from a geth's memory core. I had scheduled a meeting with the shadow broker. I knew it was going to be the most important meeting of my life, but I didn't know just how much my life would change…

Chapter 1: First Sight

Tali checked her suit's warnings again as she walked to the meeting with the shadow broker. She still have half a dozen infections, but the patch in her suit was holding up and Dr. Michel had refilled her supply of immuno boosters and given her plenty of anti-biotics, so she only had a slight fever and a runny nose. A small price to pay for what she was about to do. In exchange for her information, Tali wanted the shadow broker to get her a small ship to take back to the migrant fleet. Combined with the data on the geth, it would be a pilgrimage gift that would make even her father proud.

Maybe. Rael'Zorah was notoriously hard to please, even if you were his only daughter. Her bosh'tet of a father hadn't even bothered to send her off on her pilgrimage in person, leaving her a message she never even finished watching. But how could he ignore the gift of an entire ship and data that could retake the homeworld?

"Maybe he will even say 'I love you.' For once." Tali muttered to herself.

She shook her head. Focus. No time to dwell.

The hallway in the wards she had chosen for the meet was poorly lit, but that was hardly an encumbrance for Tali. Her suit easily showed all the nooks and crannies, and the several well armed mercenaries waiting for her.

A turian strode up to her. "Wheres the Shadow Broker?" Tali asked, "Where's Fist?"

"Oh they will be here," The turian said in to-sweet tones as he fingered Tali's suit. "Where's the evidence?"

Slapping his hand away, Tali cased the mercs. Two Salarians, and a couple of humans. And a well armed party was sneaking down the hallway behind the mercs, looked like they had a krogan with them. This could get messy, fast.

"No way, the deals off." Tali readied one of the many small explosives she kept on her person, and as the salarian's drew their weapons she pushed the turian away and threw it, ducking for a corner as she drew her trusty shotgun.

But to her surprise, as the sound of gunfire and screams filled the air, she realized no one was shooting at her.

Out of the smoke steped one of the most massive krogan Tali had ever seen, though admittedly she had not seen many krogan in the migrant fleet. This one had a large scar over his right eye. For a moment, they both stared down the barrels of their shot guns at each other, then the krogan grunted.

"All clear Shepard." The krogan holstered his gun and walked off, and a human flanked by another turian approached.

Tali stood, and the turian spoke, "That's her, Commander. The quarian from Dr. Michel's office."

They knew Dr. Michel? Perhaps they were here to help. "Fist set me up!" Tali raged, though she kept her shotgun handy. Humans were new on the galactic scene, and something of an unknown quantity to quarians. "I knew he would turn on me."

'What I get for trusting a human.' Tali thought, and wondered if this human would be any better.

To Tali's surprise, the human removed his helmet and looked her up and down. "Were you hurt in the fight?" He asked with what seemed to be genuine concern.

Taken aback, Tali put up a bold front, "I know how to look after myself, not that I don't appreciate the help. Who are you?"

The human smiled, and Tali felt herself blushing, though she tried to convince herself it was just her fever.

"My name is Commander Shepard with the Alliance, and I am looking for evidence that Saren is a traitor to the Council."

"Then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life, but I would prefer it if we talked somewhere safer."

The turian spoke again, "We can take her to the human embassy, your ambassador will want to see this as well."

Shepard nodded. "Good idea, Garrus. Will you come with us, Miss …?"

"Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

The human nodded. "My turian friend here is Garrus Vakarian," Shepard guestured to the krogan," and this is Urdnot Wrex. Come on, we need to move fast."

They hustled through the ward, and were joined by two other humans, one male, the other female, both in alliance uniforms.

"How'd it go commander?" The female asked as she jogged alongside Shepard. For some reason, it made Tali jealous.

"Just fine Chief Williams. You and Lieutenant Alenko secure the clinic?"

"Yes sir, a couple more mercs came knockin', but we scared them off. Dr. Michal will be just fine."

"Good work, Williams, Alenko. Head back to the Normandy, I have a feeling after this we might have a new deployment."

"Aye, aye Commander." The two humans chorused, and as they approached the taxi docking bay they broke off and headed toward C-Sec.

Tali climbed into the taxi with Shepard and the rest, drawing a look from the turian driver.

"Suit-rat." He didn't say anything, but Tali could read his expression. He didn't seem to like the krogan either, but while turians had no problems sticking it to quarians, only well armed, suicidal turians stuck it to krogan.

"Where to sir?" He asked Shepard.

"The human embassy, and fast." Shepard said, swiping his credit chit.

The turian's eyes lit up. He might not like having a suit-rat and a krogan in his taxi, but he liked big spending humans just fine.

"Yes sir." The taxi driver said, and proved that no matter where in the galaxy you were, taxi drivers still drove like bosh'tets.

During the short ride, Tali found herself noticing that her leg was rubbing up against Shepard's as they sat across from each other. She tried to convince herself that her body temperature was just rising because of the fever, but she also studied Shepard's face.

He oozed an easy charisma, and Tali realized she had trusted him ever since he spoke to her. His words were kind, calm, and authoritative. Much like her father, he didn't get his authority from rank, but from the fact he inspired others to trust and respect him just by being present. Of course, Rael'Zorah would have never appreciated being compared to a human, but never the less it was there.

Tali also caught herself noticing how handsome the human was. His features were remarkably Quarian-like, though the square jaw and rounded ears were different, it made him seem more handsome to Tali, a bit exotic even. She mentally kicked herself, now was no time to fall for dashing alien commanders, even if they did have a strong jaw and saved her from dangerous mercs. And didn't call her suit rat, and seemed to think of her as an actual being worthy of treating with respect.

"It's just the fever." Tali muttered to herself, making sure her suits audio speakers were disabled. One convenience of living in a suit, you never looked like you were talking to yourself.

When they climbed out of the cab, Tali noticed Shepard had a cute butt too.

"Keelah, what is WRONG with me!" Tali breathed. Noticing a human had a cute butt was not something a quarian on pilgrimage was supposed to do, especially one that was Rael'Zorah's daughter.

She got plenty of looks crossing the embassy courtyard to the human embassy, though not as many as the massive, well armed Wrex. A quarian in the presidium was an oddity. A krogan in the presidium was a disaster. Tali felt for Wrex, though he seemed to be enjoying it, leering at passersby who dared stare at him. And yet Commander Shepard forged on, as if he dared the world to question his choice in companions. Several people looked like they were ready to stop this brash human and his strange group, but one look at Wrex and they thought better of it.

The human embassy was larger than Tali had expected. Humans were newcomers in the galaxy, having only shown up a few decades before. Having this large of an embassy on the citadel already showed that the rumors were true: Humans were serious, powerful, and had the council's ear. The council didn't even bother to have a quarian ambassador, nor did they consider the quarians powerful and no other race took the quarians seriously. Losing your home world to a race of AI ou created took you down a few notches, and the quarians had not exactly been big galactic players before the rebellions.

Two human males stood at the balcony of the embassy. One was dark skinned and in a military uniform, the other was older and lighter skinned, and had his back to Tali.

Without turning, the lighter human spoke, "You are not making my life easy, Shepard. Firefights in the wards, and a full scale assault on Chora's Den!"

He turned, and his eyes went straight to Tali. She tried not to flinch, on the migrant fleet she had been respected and valued as a member of the community. Here, she was a "suit-rat." It hurt her more than she cared to show.

"And what's this," The human spat, "A quarian?" Tali inwardly flinched again, "What are you up to Shepard?"

Tali melted a little when Shepard stepped between the angry human and her, as if to protect her. She had just met Shepard, but he was already ready to stand up for her against what had to be not only his superior but one of the most powerful humans in the galaxy. No wonder a powerful krogan and an arrogant turian followed him unquestioningly. Tali decided right then and there. No matter what this human was after, no matter where he was going to go, she had to go with him. Whatever he was doing, this Saren was with the geth, and that meant trouble for the migrant fleet. As a quarian, and especially as an admiral's daughter, Tali had an obligation to protect the fleet. And besides, Shepard did have a cute butt.

"I am here to make your day Ambassador. This is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, and she has important evidence that will prove our case about Saren."

There Shepard went again, treating her as if she was a real being. If he wasn't careful, Tali was going to have to come up with a new excuse for all her blushing. Once again, Tali was very grateful for her suit shielding her emotions from those around her.

"Really? Is that so?" The Ambassador turned to Tali. "Well Miss nar Rael, we don't see many quarians here on the citadel, what made you leave the flotilla?" He said it as if the flotilla was the only appropriate place for a quarian, and surely not in the exalted human embassy.

Tali straightened up a bit more, this human was getting her back up, but her message was important. "I was on my pilgrimage, my right of passage into adulthood."

"A pilgrimage? I've never heard of this. Is it a tradition among your people?" Shepard asked, smiling at Tali. He was probably deliberately trying to calm her down, but she didn't mind.

"It's a tradition among my people. We leave the ships of our parents and set out among the stars, searching for something of value to take back to the flotilla. We return only when we have something to bring back and prove ourselves worthy of adult hood."

The way the ambassador scowled at her, Tali was sure he had never considered that a quarian might have a legitimate reason to venture to the citadel. Or maybe he just figured Tali was here to steal something.

"What sort of things do you look for Tali?" Shepard asked, as if trying to show the ambassador that this quarian had a good reason to be here.

"Food, fuel, or even technology. Something to show we will be a productive member of society that will contribute to our limited resources instead of being a drain." She shot the "drain" part straight at the human ambassador, implying that he was a drain on the humans resources, but the human didn't seem to notice.

"Sounds like you found something valuable alright, why don't you tell the ambassador what you found." Shepard said, looking to his superior in an almost "I told you so" expression.

"During my travels I heard reports of geth activity, since the geth drove my people off of our homeworld, Rannoch, they have not ventured beyond the veil. I was curious. I tracked them down and separated one from its patrol and disabled it. I managed to salvage a data core with an audio log on it."

The dark military human spoke up. "I thought the geth fried their memory cores when they were captured, some kind of defense mechanism." He didn't seem to be as hostile as the ambassador, but he didn't seem to trust Tali either.

For the first time, the turian jumped in on the conversation, "Yes that's true, how exactly did you manage to preserve the memory core?" His tone was very respectful, even a bit jealous. Tali found herself reevaluating her opinion of him as arrogant. Most turians treated quarians like pests, but this Garrus seemed to be willing to judge Tali on her own merits.

"My people created the geth. If you are quick, careful and lucky, you can salvage some useful data before the core can wipe itself. Most of the geth's memory core was wiped clean, but I managed to salvage something from its audio banks."

Garrus nodded. "Yes, that would work. You must be a very skilled engineer, even with my C-Sec training I would have be very lucky to get anything at all."

The ambassador gestured to Tali, as if resigned to his fate. "Alright, let's hear it."

Tali pulled up the audio log on her omni tool, and Saren's voice oozed out. "Eden prime was a major victory for us, the beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the conduit."

"That's Saren's voice!" Exclaimed the human officer, "That proves he was involved in the attack on Eden Prime!"

Looking thoughtful, Shepard mused, "He said Eden Prime brought him one step closer to finding the conduit. Any ideas what that is Captain?"

The military human shook his head. "Maybe its some kind of prothean technology. Like a weapon perhaps?"

Tali interrupted the human's, wanting to show Shepard the last bit of evidence and perhaps help solve the mystery of the Conduit. "Wait, theres more. Saren wasn't working alone."

A deep asari voice came out of the omni tool this time. "And one step closer to the return of the Reapers."

The ambassador listened, now taking Tali seriously, then turned to Shepard. "I don't recognize that other voice, the one talking about 'Reapers'."

Shepard turned to Tali. He really did seem to respect her opinion. "Are they some kind of new alien species?"

Happy she could answer the question, Tali pulled up the memory cores logs. "According to data I salvaged from the memory core, they were some kind of hyper advanced machine race that existed 50,000 years ago. The reapers hunted the protheans to total extinction, then vanished!" Tali realized she was sounding a bit manic, and calmed down before adding, "At least, that's what the geth believe."

The ambassador sniffed and turned away from Tali, folding his arms. "Sounds a little farfetched!"

But again, Shepard sprang to Tali's defense. " No, Tali is right, the vision on Eden Prime, I understand it now. I saw the protheans being wiped out by the reapers!"

A vision? From the protheans maybe? Tali had to proceed cautiously, a light that was maybe obsession, maybe madness burned in Shepards eyes when he spoke of the vision and Eden Prime.

"The geth revere the reapers as gods, the pinnacle of synthetic life. And the geth think Saren knows how to bring the reapers back," She explained.

The ambassador shook his head. "Oh, the council is going to love this." He said sarcastically.

But the human captain jumped in, "No matter what they think about the rest of it, those audio files prove Saren is a traitor and he was behind the attack on Eden prime!"

The ambassador seemed to reach the same conclusion. "You are right captain. We need to show the council this as soon as possible."

For the first time since rescuing her, Wrex spoke. "What about her, the quarian?"

She wanted to scream at him "I am a person!" But she just said, "My name is Tali! You saw me in the alley commander, you know what I can do! Let me come with you!" She tried to keep the pleading out of her voice, but she knew she was begging.

Instead of dismissing the idea of a quarian coming along, Shepard expressed concern for her. "What about your Pilgrimage, your people? Don't you need to worry about them?"

"The pilgrimage proves we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good. I can't imagine a more important service to my people then stopping the geth and Saren. I can't turn my back on this."

Shepard nodded, and extended his hand. Tali grasped it. "I will take all the help I can get. Welcome aboard, Miss nar Rael."

The gesture of clasping hands was fairly universal, though it did feel odd to hold a hand with so many fingers. How did the humans ever manage to get anything done with so many extra digits getting in the way?

"Thanks! You won't regret this." Tali tried not to sound like a bubbling school girl, but touching Shepard's hand, even with all the extra fingers, made her feel giddy.

"I will call an emergency meeting with the council, and then we will head up to the tower. You head there straight away with Miss nar Rael." The ambassador said, then turned his back to make the call.

Shepard turned to the krogan and slapped his arm. "Well Wrex, it was good to have you on the mission. I'm sure you need to turn in your bounty on Fist. I don't suppose I could convince you to stick around?"

Wrex let out a deep belly laugh. "Shepard, you couldn't keep me off this mission with a gun. There's a storm building, and you're right at the center of it with Saren. There's going to be some good fights, and I want to be there for them. "

Shepard nodded. "Excellent. Pack your gear and head for the Normandy. I think it's time we bring to storm to Saren."

Turning to the turian, Shepard shook hands with him. "Well Garrus, you have been a great help in this investigation. Feel like you can handle being in front of the council again?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Shepard. I want to see the look on Executor Palin's face when you get to say, 'I told you so.'"Garrus said, drawing back his mandibles in a smile.

As she followed Shepard to the citadel tower, Tali wondered aloud to herself, "What am I getting myself into? A turian? A krogan? A human? What kind of crazy mission is this going to be? I'll make you proud father."

Unna'Karis: Would you call it love at first sight?

Tali'Zorah: No, not quite. It was more respect at first sight on Shepard's part, and I was a giddy, feverish girl who had just lived through a fire fight. Love is more than just getting rescued by a handsome human with a cute butt. It was a beginning though. The seeds of love were planted then to be sure, but it took a long time for them to really bloom. Those first heady days were exciting, to be sure, but back then, Shepard didn't notice me that way.

UK: How did Shepard notice you?

TZ (smiling): As I said, with respect. He was the first alien on my pilgrimage to treat me with real respect. And as I would learn, he was far from the only one to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So begins Tali's journey. It's going to be a long one, but a fun one I hope. Thanks for reading :)


	3. Chapter 2: Shipmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew of the Normandy get to know one another.

Unna'Karis: Serving on a ship full of aliens, that must have been hard for you. From the histories, I know there was a great deal of racism back then.

Tali'Zorah: Was and is. You havn't been off-world often enough to see it, though admittedly having the quarian fleet play a key role in ending the reaper threat has helped it die down.

UK: Did your fellow shipmates give you a hard time? The great Urdnot Wrex? The famous Garrus Vekarian? Dr. Liara T'soni? Or the humans, like Kaiden Alenko or Ashley Williams?

TZ: There was some friction to be sure, but you will never guess who took me under his wing and taught me a great deal about combat.

UK: Was it Garrus or Shepard? You were closest to the two of them.

TZ: No, actually. My uncle was a very... Unique individual.

It was all so… New. Even after weeks aboard the SR-1 Normandy, Tali could not get over how new everything was. The paint was new. The metal was new. Even the air was new! Back aboard the migrant fleet, it was different. Paint was layered over fatiguing metal that needed constant repairs to keep it from breaking, and the air had been recycled so many times it never tasted fresh. When she had not known anything else, Tali had not realized just how desperate the migrant fleet was, how much they needed the resources on from pilgrimages. She was beginning to understand though.

"Still too quiet for you?" Tali turned and smiled to see Shepard there. He came through whenever he had time.

At first, Tali thought maybe he felt the same way about her as she did about him, that he was secretly trying to court her and that all those tawdry romances about the poor engineer having secret trysts with the heroic captain she had read during her adolescence were coming true. But then she realized he did the same for everyone. He stopped and talked with Chief Engineer Adams, with the various crewmen, with every single squad member.

He spent the most time with Gunnery Chief Williams though. And that made Tali jealous.

She had talked with Chief Williams, and even been on a few missions with her and Shepard, to explore distress signals or take out pirate bases. Williams was a competent soldier, and in her own rough and rugged way Tali guessed Williams was beautiful, at least by human standards. William's even knew quite a bit of human poetry, and had told Tali a bit.

And Chief Williams was very, very racist. Oh, she was never outright rude or condescending, especially not within the hearing range of Shepard. She made pleasant enough small talk, and even complimented Tali for her combat or engineering skills sometimes. But the way she looked at Tali, the way she dismissed Tali as a possible competitor for Shepards affections (unlike the beautiful young asari Dr. T'soni, who Tali could not bring herself to hate,) the way she dismissed Tali's ideas and the way William's acted superior. She wasn't violently xenophobic, and she didn't seem to hate quariens in particular, the way some other aliens did. But Williams was obviously carrying a chip on her shoulder toward aliens, and somehow it hurt Tali that Shepard could find such a racist person attractive, even if Williams was a member of his own species and Tali was a quarian.

"It's this stupid mask!" Tali often thought to herself. "If only I could take it off! If only Shepard could see the real me! Then maybe he could love me…"

But she knew that taking her suit off on a human ship without preparing was nearly a death sentence. And even if Shepard could see her face, it would only be for a little while before the suit had to go back on. So Tali kept her secret dreams secret, and no one, not even Commander Shepard, could see the longing in her face when she looked at him.

"Actually Shepard, I'm getting used to it. It's different then the noise on the flotilla, but the Normandy is slowly becoming home for me."

Shepard nodded. "I know what you mean. I was born on a ship myself. Each new ship takes some getting used to, but when you get used to the old girls rhythms, she becomes home." He patted a bulkhead affectionately."

"I didn't know you were spaceborn like me." Tali said. For all her talks about Shepard, she didn't know much about him. He was always more interested in others, more interested in helping them. He never asked for anything in return, never asked for another to help him. It made Tali want to give him a great big hug and tell Shepard it was going to be alright.

"Yep, both parents are in the military. Mom's the XO of the SSV Kilimanjaro, one of our dreadnaughts. I just talked with her the other day actually. I don't hear from my dad much, he and mom were never really close when I was growing up, these days he keeps his head so far down the bottle he doesn't notice much."

Tali was taken aback. Was Shepard opening up to her? "What's wrong Shepard? Something about the mission bothering you?"

"No, its fine. Just checking up on you, making small talk. See you around Tali." Shepard started to turn away to chat with the other engineers, but Tali put on hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, I know you now. How many times have we been shot at together? I think I owe it to you to listen. Besides, I'm outside the chain of command. It's not like your unloading on a subordinate. I'm your friend, Shepard."

Shepard paused, and for a second Tali thought he was going to press on, but something stopped him. Ever since the mission on Feros a few days ago, the Commander had seemed almost melancholy. They had saved almost the entire colony. Tali had cooked up a potent gas grenade that had knocked the colonists controlled by the strange thorian creature, and Garrus and Shepard had carefully deployed them, managing not to kill a single mind controlled person. Seeing Fi Dan blow his brains out had been shocking, and Shepard always took it hard when someone died on his watch.

"Alright Tali." He pitched his voice so it would carry. "You look a little under the weather Tali, why don't you come up to the mess with me. We got some new dextro-amino foods at our last stop on the citadel. Why don't you try some out?"

She nodded, and followed Shepard out of engineering. She had to work to contain her glee. It was not a date. He was not asking her to dinner. She was going to listen while she inserted food tubes into her suits filtration system. And she most definitely was not going to keep studying Shepards butt as he stepped on the elevator. She must be running a fever again, because it was getting very warm in her suit.

The mess chief brought Tali the dextro-amino food tubes. She had to carefully scrub them in her filtration system, as they were turian rations and not as sterile as quarian food would have been. Thankfully, her body was adjusting and she hardly got sick from the food anymore. Shepard picked at a plate of levo-amino food, called "omelet." Everyone else cleared out of the mess, giving their commander some space as he obviously had something on his mind.

"So what's up Shepard? You still bothered about Fai Dan?" Tali said as she carefully put one of the tubes into an induction port. In a few minutes, she would be able to ingest it, but she wasn't really in a hurry.

"I suppose that's part of it. It hurts, losing people like that. Good people." Shepard looked up at Tali, and she gasped. The pain, the hurt in Shepards eyes was obvious.

"You couldn't have saved him. He died honorably, for his community, protecting them even when he was being controlled by that… Thing. He was a true captain of his ship. You saved everyone you could."

Shepard sighed. "I know Tali. I know. But this whole mission has felt like nothing but losing people. First, Jenkins on Eden Prime, then Fai Dan. I promised myself once I would do everything I could to keep everyone around me safe. After…" He feel silent, and munched quietly on his eggs.

Tali gathered her courage. "After what?"

Looking Tali in the eye, Shepard said one word. "Akuze."

Feeling embarrassed, Tali had to ask, "I don't remember going to that planet. What happened there?"

"It was a long time ago Tali. Right after I first enlisted, what got me into the N7 program and made me a SPECTRE candidate. It was me and my entire platoon of marines. A colony had gone dark, and we were sent to investigate. We found massive holes in the ground, buildings wrecked, and every single colonist dead."

"Oh no." Tali gasped. "Thresher Maws. We are taught about them before our pilgrimages, but humans have been in the galaxy so short a time…"

Shepard nodded. "It was first contact with them for us. We had no idea what we were getting into. Fifty marines died. I was the only one that made it out. And I promised myself, never again. Never again would I watch those around me die as I fled in panic and terror, blasting wilding and monsters I couldn't see. They say it was skill, but I know better. It was God's blessing Tali. Only divine providence kept me from becoming thresher meat like the rest of my platoon."

Tali sucked in her breath. So that was what Shepard liked about Chief Williams. Tali had seen Williams praying before each mission. Tali was not terribly religious herself, and quarians for the most part revered their ancestors if they were religious. Only a few clung to old religions that told of a supreme being of some sort. After the geth took their home world, most of the old ways had been forgotten. Having another human next to him that believed in the same God? Tali knew that could be a powerful bond.

"That's… That's a heavy burden to carry. But it is a captains burden Shepard. And you are our captain." Tali very nearly said my captain, but she knew better.

He nodded. "Thanks for not trying to talk me out of it Tali. I know I can't save everyone, but I can damn well try."

Shepard's comm bead squawked to life, and Jokers voice came through. "Commander, we just received a call from Admiral Hackett. It sounds important."

The Normandy's pilot was sarcastic and abrasive, but Tali understood being trapped by your own body. For her it was her immune system, for Joker it was his bones. Joker had it worse though, at least every quarian shared Tali's fate. Joke was alone in a sea of humans that could run where he hobbled.

"Rodger that Joker. Tell the Admiral I will be right there."

Tali stood, and placed a hand on Shepard's shoulder. "Hey, you OK?"

Nodding Shepard smiled, the old confidence and charisma back in place. "Of couse. Thanks for the talk Tali. Sometimes I forget that it's OK to ask my friends for help."

And off he went, to save the galaxy again. But that mask had come off, and now Tali knew there was more to Commander Shepard than he showed the world.

"The perfect captain."

Tali sighed, and headed back down toward engineering. She hated the elevator, whatever bosh'tet had designed it had made the slowest elevator in the galaxy, Tali was sure. When she got down though, she walked over to where Wrex was, reading, to her astonishment, a human book, though it was written in galactic basic. It must have been ancient, for it was made out of actual paper and its edges were very worn.

"What are you reading Wrex?" Tali asked, curious as to what could pique a krogan's interest in literature.

Wrex cocked at eye at her, and Tali thought for a moment she had irritated him. "What, no 'krogan can read?' Jokes, Tali?"

She laughed. "You know me better then that Wrex. The way I think of things, our species are too hated by everyone else for us to waste time hating each other."

Grunting, Wrex nodded. "What do you know, a kid like you who can learn?"

From anyone else, Tali might have been offended, she knew she was young, but she was also trying to prove herself an adult. But Wrex was hundreds of years old, and had seen and done more than the rest of the Normandy's crew combined. From him, a remark like that was a compliment.

"You still havn't answered my question," Tali insisted.

"Huh. Yeah. It's a book by a famous human, named Shake-Spear, good name. Apparently, some warrior race I've never heard of named 'Cling-ons' thinks it's the best thing by humans, according to Ashley. When I asked Shepard he just laughed and told me I might like it."

Tali was a bit confused, she had never heard of "Cling-ons" or a human named "Shake-Spear," and the idea of Ashley knowing anything about an alien race that didn't involve why humans were better than them was foreign.

"How is it?" Tali asked, now genuinely curious. "I think I remember hearing something about Hamlet aboard the Citadel."

"Good. These Cling-ons were on to something. This Hamlet's father was chief of their clan, the Danes. Apparently his uncle decides to off his father and steal his father's mate. Hamlet swears revenge, and begins plotting to kill his uncle. He's a bit whiney at times, but what do you expect from a human?"

Tali had to suppress a giggle. Of course Wrex would love a book full of betrayal and families killings. It would be like being back on Tuchanka for him.

"Shepard doesn't whine much."

"No, but Shepard's special. Shepard would face his death with dignity. This Hamlet is just like this one human I cornered one time, he just keeps whining 'No, please, I don't want to die, leave me alone.'"

Tali cleared her throat, Wrex seemed to relate everything to killing someone. "Er, what about showing me some more of those combat tricks you showed me before?"

Wrex tossed aside the book. "Sure, sounds better then reading Hamlet whine about fate again. Follow me."

Leading Tali out to the middle of the cargo bay, Wrex turned and brought up his shot gun. Even though Tali knew Wrex would never kill one of his ship-mates, she was still intimidated by the massive krogan.

"Now, when someone pulls a gun on you and is bigger and stronger then you, which most everyone is, what do you do?" Wrex growled.

"Um, duck and hope they miss?" Tali ventured.

"NO!" Wrex bellowed. "You smack that gun aside and hit them with a knife or one of those little explosives you always seem to have. If they are bigger and stronger, ducking just makes it so they can bash your skull in, LIKE THIS!"

Surging forward, Wrex knocked Tali to the ground and brought his shot gun butt millimeters from her face plate.

"Easy there Wrex. She's not going to learn like that." Garrus walked over, pushed Wrex aside and helped Tali up.

"Hmph. If she doesn't learn by see what will happen if she screws up, she won't ever learn."

"Or she could learn if she had someone show her how it's done." Garrus calmly remarked. "Here, try it on me. I'm a bit bigger then Tali, but you have plenty of weight and height on me still so she will get the general idea."

"Heh. Your funeral, turian."

Tali watched as Wrex brought his shotgun up, and Garrus took the same position Tali had been in a moment before.

"Now Tali, what Wrex wants you to do is something like this." Garrus said, as he neatly smacked Wrex's gun aside and brought his pistol up to Wrex's chest.

"Not to shabby, Garrus. But I could still do this." Wrex head butted Garrus hard enough to leave the turian on the ground.

But Garrus proved to be tougher then Tali did, sweeping Wrex's leg out from under him and bringing a knife to the fallen krogan's throat.

"Alright! Enough you two, you're not actually trying to kill each other! You are ship-mates, after all." Tali said, trying not to make the last sentence a question.

"True enough." Garrus got up, and offered Wrex a helping hand. After a moment's hesitation, Wrex took it.

"Sorry I was a bit rough on you, old man."

"Haw! Old man? I'll be killing turians long after your nothing but rust, young pyjak." Wrex said, grinning predatorily at the smaller turian.

"Maybe. You're pretty tough yourself, krogan."

Tali cleared her throat. "As nice as it is to have you two making nice, would you mind coaching me through that move with Garrus, Wrex? You play a bit rough."

Wrex shrugged. "Suit yourself, your going to face plenty of krogan in the field, even if they aren't as tough as me, lots of them are younger. But I can play battlemaster for the two of you hatchlings for a while; Shepard would be pissed if part of his squad got killed because they didn't know enough to punch when they ducked."

After about an hour of drilling in various defensive and offensive maneuvers, Wrex called it a day and went back to his book. "That's enough of me playing battlemaster today, Tali. You're not quite as tough as a young krogan, and I'm too old to spend all my time fooling around with you kids. You did manage to learn a bit today though. Talk to me again tomorrow, maybe I'll feel like teaching you some more."

Tali headed back to engineering, but paused when she felt a three taloned hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, want to go up and grab something to eat? I know it might sound a bit strange, but it would be nice to have a meal with someone who eats the same things I do. Besides, we should talk for a bit." Garrus said, his mandibles splayed in amusement.

Though still fairly full from her snack with Shepard, Tali had to admit Garrus was right. Even though they were different species, it would be nice to sit down with someone who ate the same things she did, even if he didn't have to eat through an induction port.

"That sound's great Garrus."

They rode the elevator up to the mess hall, and Garrus couldn't resist quipping "Whoever designed this thing must have really loved elevator rides."

They found Liara sitting at the table, who was busy reading over some document or other on a holo-tab. Grabbing their food, they sat down next to the asari, who finally looked up.

"Garrus, Tali, it is good to see you. I apologize; I was reviewing my research to see if I could find anything further on Thorian. It was such a fascinating creature; I only wish I could have gotten to see it in person."

"No, you don't Liara. It was gross, disgusting, and very disturbing. Shepard, Garrus and I were all glad to get away from it." Tali said, shuddering at the memory of the hideous and ancient plant creature.

"Yeah. Especially seeing it... Make those asari clones. I don't ever want to see anything like that ever again." Garrus added.

Liara nodded. "Of course, you are right. I seem to always let my curiosity get away from me in these situations."

Garrus chuckled. "You mean you moon over anything that's old enough to remember the protheans."

Blushing Liara nodded. "Yes, of course." Then she turned back to her research, her meal mostly forgotten in front of her.

Garris jerked his head toward Liara and pantomimed Liara having her head in the clouds.

Inserting her food into her induction port, Tali asked Garrus "So what was it you wanted to talk about? Surely not how tasty turian rations are."

Making a face, Garrus shook his head. "No, definitely not. As proud that I am that my people have a wonderful food distribution network that supplies the Normandy with food, I do wish they could find a way to make it both efficient to get supplies that are actually tasty to eat. "

Tali giggled, she thought the turian food was pretty flavorful herself, the recycled stuff on the migrant fleet was bland in comparison, but she wasn't going to tell the already cocky Garrus that.

"What I wanted to talk about was you and Wrex. I know the old guy can be a bit rough on you, but he's really got a soft spot for you. It might seem strange that a turian would know anything about krogan psychology, but my years in C-Sec have allowed me to gain a pretty fair knowledge of how just about any race works, even the quarian, though we don't get many of your people on the Citadel. Especially Wrex saying he's your 'battlemaster.' That's a position of both respect and authority in krogan society. A battlemaster takes apprentices and teaches them everything there is to know about being a krogan, mostly how to fight. For a krogan to offer the same thing to an alien? That's unheard of."

Garrus's statement shocked Tali a bit. Turians and krogan had a notorious history of bad blood; after all it was the turians who deployed the genophage against the krogan. Wrex and Garrus got along fairly well, both because Wrex was fairly mellow and forgiving for a krogan, and Garrus was willing to work with other species and accept them as individuals far more than the average turian. But here sat Garrus, not only telling Tali that he respected Wrex, but that he respected her as well, enough to tell her what an honor she was being paid.

"Thanks for telling me Garrus. I had no idea that would mean so much to Wrex, what do you think I should do?" Tali asked.

Liara stirred from her reverie, interjecting, "If Wrex is acting as your battlemaster, you should formally approach him about training you to thank him. I have talked with Wrex, though he is loath to admit it, his culture and species means a great deal to him. He is worried that in a few centuries, krogan culture will be all but extinct. He has asked me endless questions about the protheans regarding this. At first I thought he was merely pandering to my own interests to make idle conversation, but now I think that Wrex want's to know the best ways to preserve his own heritage, should a cure for the genophage never be found."

"Wow… That's… That's a lot to think about Liara. Thank you."

Tali's mind spun. Her own people had lost a great deal of their own culture when they fled their planet. So much of Rannoch's history and traditions were gone, probably lost to the quarians forever. Though new traditions arose, a people with no past seemed to be in dire peril of losing their future as well. For Wrex, preserving his culture so that it lasted beyond his people, even by training a young quarian, was something that meant a great deal to the battle hardened old warrior.

"Liara is right Tali," Garrus affirmed, nodding, "Wrex probably sees you as someone who might be able to let the krogan live on when the genophage takes its toll, their fighting moves are some of their most sacred traditions to a krogan."

Tears came to Tali's eyes. "Thanks, you two. Having friends like you and Wrex… I never thought anyone would who wasn't a quarian would ever treat me like a real person."

Liara blushed, and Garrus's mandibles twitched in embarrassment.

Speaking slowly, Liara said, "Tali, I admit that our species have not always been as… Welcoming to the quarians as we might have been. We feared you when you experimented with the geth, and when you lost the geth rebellions it scared us. To often we react only to that fear when meeting quarians, not to who they are as individuals. I myself have never really gotten to know a quarian until I met you, but you have shown me that quarians are a vibrant people."

"Absolutely. When I was a C-Sec, the quarians I met were mostly youngsters like you on pilgrimage. Some of them were scum, trying to lie and steal and get whatever they could get their hands on."

Underneith the table, Tali's hands tightened into fists. "One of the C-Sec officers on the citadel called me a 'suit-rat.' You aren't the only turian that thinks my people are a bunch of thieves."

"Woah there, slow down, I wasn't finished." Garrus held up his hands in a gesture of peace. "Some of them were scum, yes, but so are some asari and turians. Most of them were honest, decent people, lost and alone for the first time in their lives. Hard working too, they could fix anything, and if not to many people tried to rip them off, they usually were able to make enough money to purchase a decent gift to bring back to the fleet. Quarians are like any other species; you can't define them by putting a hat on their whole species."

Before she could shut down her suits audio speakers, Tali started to sob. She had though Garrus arrogent and Liara distant, but here they were, affirming their status as her shipmates. She had never felt so happy and revealed.

A human hand rested on Tali's shoulder. "Hey, you two giving poor Tali a hard time?"

The voice was not Shepards, but Kaiden Alenko's. The human officer was always polite around Tali, and unlike Ashley Tali had the sense Kaiden respected her, abet formally and as a member of the ship's crew. They hadn't talked much, but Tali sort of liked him.

"No, sniff, Lieutenant, they were actually being very nice to me. I just… I never imagined I could join an alien ship and feel like a part of her crew."

Liara reached her hands across the table and took Tali's in her own, rubbing Tali's wrists to comfort her.

"We were just telling Tali how much she meant to us actually. I can see quarian women are just like turian women, start to talk about your emotions and its all water works." Garrus said, though Tali could tell from his tone he was being playful and trying to cheer her up.

"Ah. I understand." Alenko sat down next to Tali. "When I first met aliens, I thought they were all a bunch of arrogant pricks myself. But just like you, I learned that just because someone wasn't human, or quarian in your case, didn't mean they weren't all against me. Some are really good people, ah, even if they aren't really your kind of people."

Hiccupping slightly, Tali nodded as she tried to calm down. "Thanks. I never imagined I would count a human, a turian, an asari and even a Hamlet reading krogan among my best friends."

Everyone else started as Alenko started laughing so hard he nearly fell off the bench.

"What? What is so amusing? I have heard of Hamlet before, is it not a play by the famous human, William Shakespeare?" Liara asked, slightly confused.

Shaking his head and getting himself under control, Alenko shook his head. "Oh no, you're right. What you don't know, and no one but a human would, is that Hamlet was the favorite play of a fictional race of aliens in a fictional human vid series. Ashley gave it to Wrex as a joke. Klingon's had a reputation as being quick to violence, none too bright, and obsessed with 'warrior's code' just like krogan. She never thought Wrex would actually LIKE it. Now she's out one of her favorite books, and she's too embarrassed to ask for it back because Wrex loves the thing so much, he's on his third read!"

Upon hearing the explanation, Tali, Garrus and Liara found themselves chuckling too.

"A krogan with an appreciation for human poetry? Who knew. Maybe we should get Wrex in for a viewing of the elcor version when were on the citadel." Garrus said, his mandibles pulled up in a smile.

This only served to make Alenko completely lose it again.

"Alas poor Yorik, I knew thee well. A fellow of infinite jest and..." Liara stopped, blushing, as she had managed to reduce Garrus and Tali to gails of laughter as well with her perfect, dead pan impression of an elcor.

"What's so damn funny? You all see a varren in a dress?" Wrex said, stepping off the elevator with his copy of Hamlet in his hands.

The only answer he got was a human, a quarian, an as asari and a turian all laughing helplessly.

"Bunch of drunk pyjaks." Wrex growled, grabbing some food and retreating back toward the elevator.

"Wait Wrex, I'm coming down as well." Tali said, managing to control her laughter as she boarded the elevator with Wrex.

"Hmph. What was wrong with them?" Wrex asked, tearing off a hunch of dried meat.

"Just the thought of elcor acting." Tali said before she thought better of it.

"Uh huh." Wrex eyed Tali suspiciously. She had forgotten he was there when the advertisements of elcor performing Hamlet were all over the Citadel. Canny as always, Wrex could put two and two together to figure out that everyone else probably thought him reading Hamlet was pretty damn funny, and the thought of him seeing an elcor perform Hamlet would be even funnier.

"Anyway," Tali said hurriedly, " I wanted to thank you. For acting as my battlemaster."

"Now wait just a minute!" Wrex said, almost dropping his food in surprise.

"I mean, I really appreciate you teaching me all those combat tricks. Coming from someone like you, it means a lot to me." Tali hurridly added.

Recovering, Wrex chuckled. "Well, I can see you mean no offense. I was half joking when I said I was playing battlemaster, but I didn't expect you to know what it meant." He eyed Tali, carefully chewing on his food. "Well, you might not be a krogan, but I can think of worse people to train. But don't call me battlemaster. It's a position I have not earned."

Tali nodded, seeing that Wrex was taking it very seriously. "What if I called you Uncle? It's a term of affection among quarians, it means more than just familiar relations. Someone who takes you under their wing, teaches you. Like my Auntie Raan did for me when I was setting out on my pilgrimage."

Wrex turned away, and Tali thought she had glimpsed a look of deep emotion in the krogan's face.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want, little quarian."

On impulse, Tali hugged Wrex. She was surprised to feel one of Wrex's arms patting her shoulder when the door opened. Standing there was Ashley, who proceeded to remind Tali that the galaxy was not a perfect place.

"Ugh. Get a room you two." She said, and pushed passed the krogan and quarian to take the elevator up.

Tali giggled a bit, and held back a suddenly angry Wrex from slamming his fist into the Alliance soldier.

"Let it go Wrex. As long as us outcasts stick together, who needs people like her?"

Looking at the closing elevator, Wrex nodded. "I guess your right little quarian. Maybe this old warrior has a thing or two to learn from you."

Tali couldn't get anything else from Wrex that day, but she checked the video feed from the cargo bay a couple times, and she noticed Wrex was smiling as he read his play. She smiled too. Maybe Commander Shepard wasn't the only one she had who she cared about on the Normandy.

Unna'Karis: Was Ashley William's really that bad? She's remember as a hero.

Tali'Zorah: I don't want you to get the wrong impression. I was young, vulnerable, and out for on my own for the first time. I was… Sensitive.

UK: But still, the picture you paint of her is rather horrible.

TZ: At first she was, yes. But she changed.

UK: Changed? How?

TZ: Easy. Shepard. He helped her see aliens were more than a conduit for her own demons. It took time, but we all did a lot of growing on that first cruise on the Normandy. Shepard was still learning how to be in command on his own, and it was a new experience for everyone.

UK: Except possibly Wrex, I cannot imagine, you, tutored by the great krogan leader!

TZ: To me hes still Uncle Wrex. We still keep in touch.

UK: Still though, it's hard to imagine the Great Shepard as anything other than the experienced savior of the galaxy we see in the vids.

TZ: Even for me it is, at times. But life is not like in the vids, even if Shepard was more handsome then any of the actors who ever played him. Let me tell you about when I really got to know Shepard. When I really saw the man he was, and how he got there.


End file.
